The "Stabbing" Headache.

"The third type of headache is described as a sudden, sharp pain.
One person described this as "I'm walking along and all of a sudden
I feel like someone is jamming a hot metal rod through my skull."
It is a severe pain that will nearly bring some people to their
knees by its intensity. The pain may last from a few
seconds to a minute or two. Most doctors
don't treat it because it lasts for a
very short period of time... "


this is what i've been experiencing for the last 8 months approximately...
it doesn't bring me to my knees, but it is, most certainly- shocking.
the articles i've read say that it could be caused from trauma
or injury caused to the head. and now that i think about it,
while i was in my drunken stooper months ago @ mrs. judy's i unintentionally hit my head on the stairs-hit it pretty good too cuz it was sore for a week after. who knew i'd be feeling the after affects of an injury from months; almost a year ago.
now i'm no doctor, but this describes my symptoms to a tee.
i only hope that this is what its from, because its the only thing i think it could be.
doesn't happen too terribly often, but it is noticeable.
think i should go to the doctor?

DAY 3.

reading his letters...again.
and just counting down the days til
i get to see him again.

i hope i don't look too sad in this photo...






i love you. ♥

DAY 2.

obama chia pet, i love you.

i take care of him everyday.

changing his water pan when it gets full.

who knew taking care of a chia pet was so much work.

also i've always wanted a chia pet.

thanks mrs. judy!

DAY 1.

as you all know it's a new year...

so i propose for this new year, that i try to actually complete project 365 for 2010.

not at all a hard thing, except when life steps in, and when uploading is tragic at times...

so here it goes...1st post & i'm already delaying. :)

5:16 rant.

inevitably everything must be my fault by default, because of the simple reason of it being...me.
there never can be a legit reason or "excuses", that can be said to save...me.
and it is only me who doesn't feel adequate to everything i say i'm going to be.

i'm going to sell photos.
i'm going to make more art.
i'm going to try and not be so forgetful.
i'm going to do better in school (but really i should know better).
i'm going to try to better myself, and not be so lazy.

my efforts go out the window, pushed by the not having high expectations from the bad luck i've experienced.
the story goes like this: usually when i have something good going for me, the winds of change cross my path & not usually in a positive, benifiting way.
more like "i see your being hopefully here, but i'm just going to be that one barrier between you and your goals".

this just might be karma at play.

on a lighter note, i am in love.
like the real kind this time, where it's mutual & there's no doubt.
it's nice & makes me happy; makes me look forward to my day.
so for that, when i feel this great distress and void of unaccomplishment,
i have this to cheer me up.
he's amazing like that.

DAY 278.

upper respiratory viral infection.

and that's exactly what it feels like.

on a lighter note...

the rain has cleared, literally and figuratively.
the last post was harsh...
...i guess i just had to get that off my chest.
yet, for some reason, i feel like i'm the "bad guy",
as if i did something wrong by simply not speaking
and keeping to myself.

i do as i please and if people don't see it fit,
i could care less.

i've gone my whole life with this mentality,
not the "i don't give a fuck" type (you know the
kind, the ones who just do it for attention), it's
more of a "i see things differently, and that's how
it is". i have my views but i am always willing to see both sides,
maybe even with effort and time be convinced onto that side.
and for that, i'm a happy person, an optimist.
for some reason, in the wreckage and downfall,
i can see some sort of beauty in things.

the anchors
they symbolize stability in a chaotic world.
and that's exactly how i feel about things.
it's a permanent mind set.
that's why i have them on my body- to remind me...

random thoughts...

to whom it may concern- (no names are mentioned).

this is not a hiatus, but a permanent revolution.
fighting fire with fire, because i'm confused/angry & i have
a reason to now be in the state i'm in.
when i used to absorb and sit back and watch.
they became too free, saw the opportunities and
took advantage of the situation.

i am not a doormat.

but it gets worse...
she who is blinded to my being.
did i really have to put up the
"no trespassers" sign in order for her
to get the point. as she sneakily hopped the fence?
or did she not feel any remorse?

and it should always go without saying,
if you have to question it...

furthermore, don't mistake my kindness for ignorance.
waking up on my off weekends to help open a store
or using my gas to go back & forth to anywhere- is an example of
me not being a "good friend".
however, making sure not to see someone off for a 2 week tour who
had also asked to do laundry a week prior EVERYDAY until the day of,
is a great example of being a GOOD friend. that was the most important
thing to me, and she couldn't see me thru. blew me off to be with some guy, to bowl.
some of my clothes were still wet.
and that was strike (1).

saying she was out of town while getting my
first tattoo is what the whole day was revolved on.
but she decided to invite others, and then ended up not
going after our litte dispute. had that one person who was there
hadn't shown up, i would've been alone. and who is she again
to say how many people i think I should invite for what i thought,
was a a monumental moment of importance? i'll invite 100 if i want.
now tell me once more how can she say she was out of town within 30 mins?
strike (2).

that degree of secrecy has now come.
have you seen any good movies lately?
or did you fail to say that in some conversations we
had while you were smiling in my face all week, like a snake, after i
had thought we resolved this. yet, she babbles on
at work about this guy.
that guy...
strike (3).

(1)(2)(3) out.
so now maybe he can help you, like a bad friend's supposed to?

this is my farewell letter, since she thinks one is more important then the
other. even after giving her another chance. what she should of done was walked
away from that very thing. instead she continued into her independent streak, or
"i'll do what i want" demeanor. consequently, resulting loss.

-sincerely, mj.

50 year summer...

modeling and bowling.

fishy.

jordan and kas.

jordan's shed.

ducky baby.

no caption.

prom.

my brother at the air show.

russell and i at the salty dog saloon.

alice & perry.

pensacola beach!

laura looking beautiful as ever.

fishing.

st. andrews beach.

riding in cars with alice and chris perry.

walking the bridge with alice wise.

again!

show at escatapwa; dance party.

ian's clubhouse's first house show!

a farewell to DAY whatever...

granted i may not update my project 365 (and frankly, it's overdue)...i will be posting occasion photos, for those who even give a fuck.
thank you for your time, support and always, your praise.

DAY 64.

"HOLEY" temple of donut.
get it, holey?!

today was very eventful.
from setting up bull dog day,
to the gallery showing,
to visiting brady,
and hanging out with d.

it was a good night tho,
goodnight.

DAY 63.

brent was trying to be an anime kid, for his speech.

look at those contacts tho.

DAY 62.

cur (kûr) n.
1. A dog considered to be inferior or

undesirable; a mongrel.
2. A base or cowardly person.

by the looks of it, it could be any of the two.

still, very creepy.

DAY 61.

springs a'comin.

DAY 60.

being nerds.

DAY 59.

i apparently really like this dog.

and my shoes.

DAY 58.

taking pictures with dixie the dog.

i've been sipping on v8 lately.

hell yeah.

*there it is in the background.

DAY 57.

beach version crop circles.--->

i hate the mississippi weather.

i can handle arid heat, but heat

with humity, i cannot stand.

DAY 56.

i have to admit something.

...i'm a sucker for flowers.

pretty gay?

only certain ones, you see, i'm picky.

no roses.

i think sunflowers and plumeria, are

my favorites.

DAY 55.

we are bored.

ian's clubhouse- reborn!

ian and john came home monday.

it was great seeing them again,

and seems like its been forever.

DAY 54.

this photo has nothing to do

with anything that really happened

during my day.

just a casual run in, with carley (the newly wed)

and dixie the dog, being hyper as ever.

overall, pretty long day.

DAY 53.

tonight was fun.

but now my stomach

hurts.

DAY 52.

visited a 'much needed

to be visited', judy.

i realize all my friends

went off into their

seperate ways, and its just now

hitting me.