inevitably everything must be my fault by default, because of the simple reason of it being...me.
there never can be a legit reason or "excuses", that can be said to save...me.
and it is only me who doesn't feel adequate to everything i say i'm going to be.
i'm going to sell photos.
i'm going to make more art.
i'm going to try and not be so forgetful.
i'm going to do better in school (but really i should know better).
i'm going to try to better myself, and not be so lazy.
my efforts go out the window, pushed by the not having high expectations from the bad luck i've experienced.
the story goes like this: usually when i have something good going for me, the winds of change cross my path & not usually in a positive, benifiting way.
more like "i see your being hopefully here, but i'm just going to be that one barrier between you and your goals".
this just might be karma at play.
on a lighter note, i am in love.
like the real kind this time, where it's mutual & there's no doubt.
it's nice & makes me happy; makes me look forward to my day.
so for that, when i feel this great distress and void of unaccomplishment,
i have this to cheer me up.
he's amazing like that.
